There's Only You... Only YOU. (A Love Letter)

Dear You,

This isn't new anymore, isn't it? Me - writing a letter - for you. But just like the other letters that I wrote, this letter will still be kept in my memory box. Simply because, I don't have the courage to tell you everything that I feel. I know you will stay away from me once you discover that I love you. I've been through hell and back but I can't seem to let go of how I really feel about you. So, this letter will tell you everything... everything that my lips cannot say... everything that my heart wants you to know.

I didn't know when did all these fuss of love started. When I heard your name, there was this unfathomable interest that sprouted in my heart. I asked my friends if they knew you... and luckily, they do! I asked things about you and got to know tiny bits of pieces of your life... and little by little... I fell in love with you.

Not desperate just hoping. It's  been years since you and I were introduced to each other and I still couldn't forget how everything seemed to look so bright at that very moment. It has been years and still nothing has change. I still love you and you still don't know. But come to think about it, what's the use of revealing my feelings when you don't seem to care for me at all? You will react but subtly, that's for sure. For the number of times that I've seen you, I've known you to be so calm and cool. I love you. I really, really, really do. And if given the chance, I want to be with you... to spend a day with you even just for awhile. For a long time now, I have been hoping for that day to come... have been wishing for it to come. But it seems fate is not on my side when it comes to you. It seems that I'll just have to endure the fact that we are living in the same world, breathing the same air and yet, I'm not even allowed to stand near you... fate doesn't even allow me to.

Not expecting but waiting. Yes. I have been waiting all my life for you to finally see me. I have been waiting for a long time for you to feel the same way as I am feeling for you. I am waiting that maybe someday, things will be possible for you to hold my heart. It's hard. Yes, it is. But what can I do? I'm cuffed and tied to you. And I have no plans of breaking out from these thick ropes that you've bound me.

Hating but loving. Yes, I hate you. I hate you for making me feel this way. I hate for not even seeing me as a girl you could love. I hate you for making me feel so alive yet killing me in the process. I hate you for being the reason of my tears and being the only relief for me to smile. I hate you for making me feel like a school girl all over again. I hate you because I love you. I hate you because I really do love you. I hate you... I hate you... I hate you and that's a paradox.

I love you but I am not expecting anything in return. Yes. It's true that I have been wishing in my deepest heart for you to love me...for you to feel the same way for me. But I am not asking for anything in return. I know that there's this other girl that you really adore. I accept that. Even if it feels like I am being killed a hundred times, I can manage that. I love you, you know that, don't you? I have been telling you that since the very beginning of this letter. I have been showing you that since time immemorial. And I won't get tired showing you that even in another lifetime. There is only you, my love. Only you. No one could ever replace you in my heart, do you understand? I love you. I love you. I love you. Just let me love you and I'll be fine.

 One Wish. Please, please do not leave. It's okay if you won't love me back. It's okay if your feelings will not reciprocate mine. Just stay. Please stay. Please stay as my friend. Even if I don't get to see you always, the thought that we're friends is enough for me to survive. Just please... stay.

I love you, you know that, right?


Forever yours,

Me <3