Scared to Death...

I felt like I am not my usual self these past few days. The reason behind all this is the fact that my heart's most kept secret has been revealed to the man I love the most. I move around in the most uncertain pace I could ever imagine. It felt like I am going through an oblivion... a place of nowhere. He said it was okay. We're still friends and he's not offended despite the obvious fact that I love him. He remained calm and cool but I am scared and rattled with what happened.

There were numbers of time when I wanted to tell him everything... everything that I feel to have closure. Because I couldn't bear it anymore. And then, it happened. He finally knew about my secret and I'm hurt as hell. I know the time of losing him is drawing near. I know he'll stay away from me because even if he told me that it's okay, I know something has change. Something is not definitely the same between us. Something is not right anymore.

I still love him. I still feel the same, strong emotion every time I hear his name. I can still feel the fast beating of my heart whenever his near. I can still feel the pain knowing that I'll never have him.