Waiting For You In Ebisu

Him: I have to go.

Her: (looked away) Okay.

Him: I promise. I will be there. We will see each other again. Just... Just be there.'

Her: What if I can't make it? What if I can't make it to Ebisu? How will we able to find each other again?

Him: Don't you trust your heart? My heart? Our hearts?

Her: (run towards Him, hugged Him tight) I trust you... I trust your heart. I trust our hearts...our love for each other. But I don't trust time.

Him: (sad smile) Me, too. But we've got to have faith. (let her go)

Her: (wipe her tears, smile at him) I promise. Whatever the cost, I will be there. I will wait for you in Ebisu.

Him: (kissed Her lips for the last time, let her go then, walk away)

It's You... It's Always Been You

Have you ever tried placing his and your picture side by side and then, people would say, "Hey! The two of you really look good together... even in photographs."?

And then, there was a time when the two of you were walking together and people would suddenly smile with oh-they're-so-cute look on their faces, making the two of you smile shyly at each other.

I did...

And with the same guy over and over again.

*smiles* I'm not annoyed with the love team thing that people made for the two of us. I even like it... a lot. Simply, because I have been in love with this guy for so long also.

But, he only sees me as a friend. *rolls my eyes* Yeah. This is the typical unrequited love thingy story that most of the girls experienced - you like him, he likes somebody else... you like him, he's so dedicated with his profession/job... you like him, he's more in love with Rakion, Dota, Ragnarok, Ran Online, Flyff and whatever online game there is... you like him, he only sees you as a friend... you like him, he doesn't know you... and the worst, you like him, he doesn't give a damn.

This guy who has gotten my attention... and should I say, my heart falls in the "you like him, he's so dedicated with his profession/job and you like him, he only sees you as a friend" category. He's intelligent, witty and a no-nonsense type of guy. He always has witty remarks on any topic whatsoever. He's face is angelic and I couldn't think of any brighter thing than his smile. Oh! I'm addicted to that smile of his. :)

There were some people who would say, "You know what, you both look so angelic. You really look good together.". And I would giggle all the way. I love it when the people around me say things like that. And I love it when they pair the two of us up.

But the world works in an unfair way. He doesn't see me the same way as I see him. In my eyes, he's my prince. In his eyes, I'm just a plain girl who was introduced to him by his cousin. In my heart, his name was etched permanently. In his heart, I have no idea what's in there. In my life, he is precious. In his life, I do not know if I am considered as a huge part of it.

Sad? Yes, it is. Depressing? It's manageable. 

But happiness would be possible if only he would look at me like I am the most precious girl there is in this world. If that would happen, I will wish for nothing more.

And, yes. He is the reason why I still have no boyfriend right now - why I still haven't got any boyfriend at all. Because no matter what I do, no matter how I think about it... painful or not... impossible or possible... just like what Bella said to Jacob, "It's him. It's always been him.".

To him,

I love you this much. Deal with it.

         

12.21.12 Fuss, Panic and UNECESSARY Fear

"The sky is really dark. It seems that the said doom's day is true."

"Hala! End of the world na!"

"Are you still alive?"

Simula pa noong gumising ako kaninang umaga, ang mga komentong 'yan ang paulit-ulit kong naririnig. Whether in Facebook, Twitter, Yahoo or even from the SMS that I've received from my contacts. Tsk! And it's irritating the hell out of me.

End lang naman ng Mayan Calendar, doom's day na agad? Hindi ba pwedeng papalapit lang ang Pasko. Our world is full of negativity and bad vibes because of our doing. Why do we have to say things that would worsen it?

From my view here inside the office, the weather outside looks really cloudy. Uulan lang. Hindi 'yan senyales na End of the world na. Wala na kasing dilig ang mga halaman sa bakuran ninyo kaya si Mr. Rain na lang daw ang bahala doon. 

I know, and all of us know that God loves us so much. He wouldn't let any harm come to us, much more, destroy the world that He painstakingly created for us. Let's just believe in Him. Okay? 

Kaya sa mga nagsasabing end of the world na, matulog muna kayo. Tapos mamayang dawn, magsimba kayo. Baka sakaling ma-realize ninyo na joke lang ang end of the world na sinasabi ninyo.

 

Dear Moon (A 12.12.12. Love Letter)

Dear Moon,

I am always at a lost for words when it comes to you. Lagi ko na lang natatagpuan ang sarili ko na blangko kapag ikaw na ang pinag-uusapan o kapag nariyan ka sa harap ko. Crazy it may seem but I really want to talk to you, to start a conversation with you. Pero natatakot ako kung ano ang dapat kung sabihin. Para bang pinipili ko ang lahat ng mga salitang lumalabas sa bibig ko kapag ikaw na ang kausap ko. I know that all I have to do is to be myself when I'm with you but I don't know how.

Anyway, intro pa lang 'yon sa lahat ng gusto kong sabihin sa iyo. Pero bago ang lahat, may ikukwento muna ako. Remember when we saw each other last 12/12/12? Sa araw na iyon, napatunayan ko ang kasabihang "If it's God's will, it will really happen".

Kagagaling ko lang noon sa school. Sobrang nagmamadali ako dahil kailangan ko pang puntahan ang pinsan ko na naghihintay sa 'kin sa mall na katapat lang ng university kung saan ako pumapasok. Kailangan pa kasi naming umuwi sa bukid nang gabing iyon dahil pinauwi kami nina Mama. I was on my way to the sky walk when I saw you - wearing a yellow t-shirt, denim pants, dark gray rubber shoes and with your backpack. My heart immediately recognized you after so many months of not seeing you. It started to beat erratically and wildly. At kagaya noong kapag nagkakasalubong tayo, nataranta na naman ako. Sa halip na batiin ka, nilagpasan lang kita at dumiretso na ako paakyat ng sky walk. Hindi ko kasi alam kung ano ang sasabihin ko sa'yo. Namalayan ko na lang din ang sarili kong mga paa na pabilis ng pabilis ang paglalakad - upang maiwasan ka. Hindi naman sa hindi kita gustong makita, natataranta lang talaga ako sa presensiya mo at sa mabilis na tibok ng puso ko. But no worries, despite the crazy beating of my heart, I felt really good.

Akala ko hindi na muling magku-krus ang mga landas natin sa araw na 'yon. Pero nakita na naman kita roon sa baba ng mall at naghihintay ng taxi. Uwian na kasi noon at mahirap nang makasakay ng jeep, hindi ba? Nagkita na rin kami ng ate ko at pumunta sa Red Ribbon para mag-hapunan. "Umuwi na siguro siya" iyan ang sinambit ko sa aking sarili habang kumakain ako - ignoring the regret that sprung in my heart. Parang naririnig ko pa nga ang puso ko na nagsasabing "You stupid brat! Minsan na nga lang kayong magkasalubong, pinalampas mo pa! Tanga ka ba?". Pero hindi ko pinansin ang mahadera kong puso.

Pagkatapos kumain, dumiretso na kami ni Ate sa sakayan ng jeep. Sinuwerte naman kami dahil may jeep na dumating agad at hindi pa iyon masyadong puno. Kaagad na sumakay kami roon. Ilang minuto pa at nakaparada pa rin ang jeep sa terminal, that was when you came. Hindi ka pa pala nakauwi. You took your seat inside the jeepney, right in front of me. Muntik na akong mawalan ng ulirat sa mabilis na namang pagtibok ng puso ko.

And then it happened... You saw me among all the passengers. Na-i-imagine kong biglang nagliwanag ang mukha ko. Then, you smiled at me-that smile that was really meant for me. You even waved your hand to greet me. Kusang ngumiti ang mga labi ko at umangat ang kamay ko para batiin ka rin. That was when I know, no words could suffice what I feel for you kaya lagi akong nawawalan ng masasabi kapag nag-uusap tayo.

That was the first time I traveled back home with you. Noong bumaba pa ako, pinauna mo pa ako. You're really a gentleman, Moon-oppa.

And I love you. I really, really, really do.


Love,

Mortal

Her Side of the Story

She let out a sharp, heavy sigh as she continued staring at the monitor of her computer. Nasa loob siya ng opisina at natapos na niya ang lahat ng kanyang gagawin para sa araw na iyon. It was still 2 o'clock in the afternoon. Hindi pa oras para lumabas siya. She has to wait for an grueling two hours before she could finally head home. Gustung-gusto na niyang umuwi. She's longing for home where she can lay rest her tired heart. Dahil sa mga oras na iyon, wala na siyang ibang makapang damdamin sa sarili niya kundi ang takot at sakit na patuloy na sumisigid sa puso niya.

She love him. She love him enough to accept the fact that he cannot and could never love her back. Magkalayo ang mundo at agwat nilang dalawa. Ni wala siya sa kalingkingan ng lalaking mahal niya. Hindi man lang siya nito magawang tingnan. He belonged to a different league. At hindi siya nabibilang sa mundong ginagalawan nito. Again, she heaved another sigh. Naluluha na rin ang kanyang mga mata dahil sa itinatakbo ng isip niya. She has to stop. Kung hindi ay baka mahalata pa ng kanyang mga kasamahan na may dinaramdam siya. 

Daig pa ang nilipad ng hangin ang kanyang pagdadrama nang biglang may nag-flash na pink box sa kanyang computer monitor. Sa box ay may nakasulat na "Chan Rak Khoon". It meant "I love you" in Thai. 

"What's going on? Damn it!" sigaw ng isa sa mga ka-opisina niya.

"Hell! Thai version of tbe I Love You Virus!" sigaw naman ng isa.

Marahil ay lumitaw rin siguro sa mga computer ng mga kasamahan niya ang pink box na iyon. Virus nga siguro iyon dahil tumigil sa pag-function ang lahat ng mga computer sa kompanya. Halos hindi na rin magkandaugaga ang mga kasamahan niyang IT specialists sa pagtuklas sa kung ano mang virus na kumalat sa computer system ng kompanya.

The entire office was rattled, except for one man. Amidst all the chaos, Mak just stood near his own table. His hands were inside his pocket, his face, like the usual, was devoid of any emotion. But his eyes said otherwise when he met her gaze. Sari-saring emosyon ang mababasa mula roon-longing, tenderness and love? Pero bakit ganoon ang tinging ibinibigay nito sa kanya? Anong ibig sabihin niyon?

Nawala ang atensiyon niya kay Mak nang biglang nagsipag-angalan na naman ang mga tao sa loob ng opisina.

"Pare, may sira-ulong nagdedeklara ng pag-ibig sa virus na ito."

"Ginaya yata ang pelikula ni Jericho Rosales, dude."

True enough, when she looked at the screen, a message was written in italics. 

I have something to say. I should have said this long ago but I got tongue-tied. Do not be shock. This is the only way I know so that I can finally reveal my true feelings for you.

Natutop niya ang kanyang bibig at wala sa sarili na napaupo siya ulit sa kanyang swivel chair nang biglang lumabas ang isang video sa screen ng kanyang computer. Not just an ordinary video but it was a video with Mak in it!

Marahil ay na-miss na nito ng sobra ang girlfriend nito kaya naisipan nitong magpakalat ng virus para maiparating ang pangungulila nito sa girlfriend nito in a romantic way. She should get jealous. Pero siguro ay dakilang masokista siya dahil sa halip na hindi panoorin ang video ay itinutok pa niya ang kanyang buong pansin doon. She wanted to see him talk. She wanted to hear his voice. She wanted to imagine that he was talking to her and not to any other woman. Gusto niyang isipin na ang video na iyon ay ginawa ni Mak para sa kanya. Na nagpakalat ito ng virus para sa kanya.

And so the video started with Mak speaking English with so much struggle but so much love in his eyes.

Nakangiting mukha ni Mak ang nasa video. Kumaway io sa camera. 

"Hi! I really don't know what to say. The truth is, I made this video on impulse. I don't know why. Maybe I just can't hide what I feel for you anymore," nagkamot ito ng ulo. "Magtatagalog na lang ako. Kahit...kahit hirap ako gawin 'yon. I'm more poor in English, you know."

Naiiling na natawa na lang siya sa sinabi nito. She continued looking at him, lulled by his every words and voice.

"I'm sorry. Iyan ang una ko sasabihin. I know that I've been a total jerk to you. Alam ko nasasaktan ko ikaw dahil sobra kong snob. I know you're hurt because I am acting like a total asshole towards you. Sana you can still find it in your heart to forgive me." Pinagsiklop pa nito ang dalawang kamay. "Please tell me you forgive me. If you don't, 'wag mo na lang tuloy panonood ng video."

Tuluyan nang nagpatakan ang luha sa kanyang mga mata. Mahinang bumulong siya sa hangin, "I forgive you, Mak. It's alright."

She continued watching. Napansin rin niyang natahimik ang kani-kanina lang ay magulong opisina. Marahil ay hinihintay rin ng mga ito kung ano ang mga sasabihin ni Mak.

"I love you. Chan rak khoon, saranghae, mahal na mahal kita. That's what I really feel for you. If you think that I don't notice you, you're wrong. Unang dating mo pa lang sa office, napansin na kita. Your smile, your graceful gait, your high-spirited aura, I've noticed them all. You created a huge impact on me effortlessly. That first day, when you arrived, it seems like the entire office was filled with sunlight and then, you looked at me. If you only knew, my knees got weak at that time." Mak smiled. There was so much love in his eyes. "Every time you passed by my table, every time your sweet scent left a trace, I just can't help but fall in love with you. I love you, you know. Mahal na mahal kita. You made my heart skip a beat every time you look at me with wide, expectant eyes."

Mula sa kung saan ay may inilabas itong bouquet of roses. Iniumang nito iyon sa camera. "Will you be my girl, Xaleya Kim Alejandro?"